The Language Barrier

There is something about not knowing anything that is frustrating. This is my life in Japan not knowing Japanese. It's kind of like watching people from far enough away that you can't hear what they're saying, just trying to figure out what they're talking about by their hand gestures and facial expressions. Or watching the french channel.
I occasionally get grumpy because of it. But there's always two ways to react to situations, and being grumpy isn't the fun way.
I'm not gonna lie, I've prayed and asked God to let me be bilingual. I think it would be neat if I could wake up and just know Japanese. Kind of like the Matrix. It would certainly be the easiest way. But that's not how life works. The most rewarding things have to be worked for. God can make them easier, but you still have to work. God can open my mind to learn Japanese, but I still have to take the time and study it.
There is something about communication that is so...essential. Often I feel like I am kidnapped because people take me places and I just have no idea where we're going, or why we're going there. It's exhausting. Being able to talk to people at the same speed about things that actually mean something is quite refreshing.
I'm getting sick of shallow conversations. Shallow conversations with my english students, and shallow conversations with people at my church, in either English or Japanese. I think the whole language thing is what makes me lonely.
People weren't meant to be alone. I'm not alone cuz I always have people around me, but I think there are two different types of alone. Body alone and soul alone. People need other people to talk with, to communicate with, to share time and space with on a heart level.
Do hearts need words though? I guess I'll just have to let my smile talk for me until I know Japanese.