The Big Green Button

I'm a curious person. I'll be the first to admit that. I don't always give into my curiosity, but when I do...oh dear. But that's what makes memories hey?
I learned a valuable lesson yesterday: don't ever push buttons if you don't know their function. Especially in the bathroom.
Japanese bathrooms are really something else. The first time I went to the bathroom on Japanese soil I had to stifle the chortles so people wouldn't wonder what was happening in my stall. They have buttons to push to make water noises so other people don't have to hear you. They have buttons you push to get hand sanitiser. They have buttons to push so the toilet sprays you with water when you're done, and buttons to air dry after that. (These toilets are particularily fun...they have quite the range if you're not sitting on the seat.) And apparently they have buttons you push if you're having a small crisis in the bathroom.
So yesterday I was in a mall food court bathroom and was looking around the stall. After pressing the hand santizer button repeatedly cuz I couldn't see what it was doing (only a small puddle developed on the floor after it slimed down the wall- in all honesty I was expecting the water noise), my eyes wandered to the big green button to the right. I'm no Japanese expert. All I could read was 'button' and 'please'. So I pleased the button and pushed it. I certainly got my noise. This super loud alarm went off, and no matter how many more times I pushed that green button, it would not go off. I could hear it echo all in the food court too; this was no small sound. After sitting there stunned for a little bit, I realized I had better move, do something. I got out and washed my hands where the lady I was with met me with this priceless expression. She's like, 'are you alright? What did you do?" And the alarm is still echoing throughout the foodcourt, not unlike a fire alarm.
So I'm laughing and trying to tell her what happened, when a mall lady came in. I was like, 'sorry, sorry, I made a mistake!' And then a male security guard showed up. And I'm still laughing and telling them, 'sorry, I can't read Kanji, and I just wanted to push the button!', the lady I'm with is laughing, the mall staff are not looking to impressed, and the alarm is still providing nice background (minor emergency) music.
I can only imagine what people were thinking of me yesterday when this huge alarm goes off from within the depths of the bathroom, mall staff come running to rescue the person that might be dying, and this white person stumbles out, just laughing. I think I'm the only person in that whole place who could've gotten away with it.
How was I to know the entire mall was wired to my bathroom stall?
And we sat down to have Baskin Robbins (to feed my second stomache, as my Japanese friends dubbed it yesterday) and killed ourselves laughing some more.
Moral of the story: In life you should push all the green buttons; they add a whole other dynamic to the mundane. (And secretly I think Jesus puts them there for his own entertainment.)