Change

I think there are two things that are sure about life: 1) things always change, and 2) you will eventually die. I haven't been thinking about death really at all, but having come back to Canada two weeks ago, spending nine days at home, and now living with a friend in Calgary makes me realize that life isn't always predictable.
I've decided that I like stability, but I've also decided that, outwardly, I don't have it right now. I don't know what I'll be doing for the summer, next week or even today, I don't know for sure where I'll be going to university in the fall, and it feels like there's a whole lot more of 'I don't knows' because I haven't had time to process all of the change that's happened in the past two weeks.
I also think that I like routine, at least until I get sick of it and want to change it. Right now I'm struggling to establish a routine, and that consists of continuing to study Japanese, doing CLBI correspondence courses, washing dishes, going to the gym and whatever else I happen to do with my friends in Calgary. But routine isn't always the fun way, I think. Without routine, each day is vastly different and leaves me open to all different options.
I've come to realize that God is really the only stable thing in life, the one who should be at the start of my routine and the only one who knows where my path is heading even though it's twisting through the overgrown jungle and I can't see anything but an occasional flash of sunlight through the thick bush. It's exciting an almost scary to walk with your eyes closed, but I have a promise that when I'm allowed to open them it will be absolutely beautiful.