The Rubber Boot Bandit

An awkward thing happened to me that just proves how city I really am. My team at work took a fieldtrip to some random people's farm to cut the new twigs off their bushes in the fancy company schoolbus (aka floor caked with dirt, can hardly get it into reverse and goes from 0 to 60 in about 2 minutes). This farm just so happened to have a coop full of chickens that were just so enthralling to me. My first attempt at befriending looked like this: me running towards them through the tall grass with my hood up (I was cold) and my rubber boots making that rubber boot 'thub thub thub' noise...and I was probably clucking or whistling at them.
...They all ran for their lives to the other side of the pen.
A little bit later I got the urge to try once more to make some chicken friends, and I went more stealthily this time to show my friendly side. Things were going good, they weren't running away, and I got the brilliant idea to stick my hand through the fence to get them to come, like a dog. Chickens aren't dogs, and apparently, unlike dogs, they use electic fences to keep the chickens contained. ZAP! That was shocking...
I didn't know chickens had such bad escape habits that they required an electric fence to keep them retained...or maybe it's just to prevent predators (wild animals, Erikas) from invading their pen and flustering them - they might lay an egg or something.
And those rubber boots. I wear them because of the mud at work, but I think I'll remember them far past the day I quit, at this rate anyways. I have chafing. Major chafing. I have a red ring of rubber boot chafe in a nice circle all the way around both of my calves. How embarrasing. Not even children, in all the time they spend prancing in their puddles and walking to school in the rain, get a rash from their boots.
I'm gonna have permanent scars. From rubber boots.
That doesn't happen every day.
But at least my feet won't be muddy. In theory. Somehow at the end of the day I shake out a few clumps of dirt along with a tree or two.
I tell ya, the trees hate me. I think I have a special talent for killing them.
And from now on I think I'd like the name 'The Rubber Boot Bandit'. It has a cool ring to it...a ring around the lower section of my legs.