The Other Side of Poverty
It all started a month or two when I was praying. Crazy things tend to happen when we pray, and this day was no exception. Somehow I found myself asking God to make me poor so that not only could I experience what it's like, but to have my faith stretched as I trust in God to provide. Little did I know that God answers requests like these.
After a summer of travelling around visitng friends, working only enough to pay off bible college with a little to spare, and mostly relaxing, about three weeks ago I moved to Calgary in a financial position that no sane person would pack up and leave with; all I knew was that God, for whatever reason, had directed me to Calgary and that I would go - He would work out the details. I had a student loan all lined up and was set to be deposited in my account the first of the month so I wasn't worried.
I had also opted out of the 'get a job' option. I tried, but somehow it didn't sit right with me to be working. Sometimes I thought I was just being lazy, but it was really God giving me the opportunity to establish patterns in my day that formed life around Him, not me trying to fit Him into it somewhere. It was really enforced to me that I wasn't supposed to be working yet when one Monday morning, one of my roomates and I had the opportunity to share God's love with a severely distressed woman strung out on drugs; God whispered to me after we and the woman parted ways that if I were working, this never would have happened.
So no matter how little sense it made to me most of the time, I continued to rest, explore God, and let Him be the focus of my day.
But then the loan didn't come....and didn't come...and was sent in cheque form to my parents' house in Saskatchewan...and I was living off my credit card when necessary and the charity of my friends (whom I feel very blessed to have), trying not to panic. But that was the amazing part, whenever I started to stress about my finances and my lack of student loan in my account God would speak and say it would be okay, that He would provide, that I need to trust His promises, and that He would work it out. One day last week I was stressing to Him about having no money to even buy my university textbooks and He told me, "There's money in MY bank. I always provide for my children. You're where you're supposed to be, just someone's trying to make it look like you're not, trying to make you doubt. I've allowed it to improve your faith. You've never exercised this area quite like this before. But I will provide. I will triumph and you will learn." And slowly, everytime I started to feel anxiety, I learned to hand it over to God and trust Him with it, claiming His promises, convinced he would provide.
And He did.
Right at the point of not being able to afford a much needed $112 psychology textbook and an expensive phone bill (setup charges kill you...), having not yet paid rent for the month, an IOU for choir tuition being due in two days, living off the dwindling credit on my card, and trying not to forget that panic isn't the way to peace, my loan arrived safe in my mailbox in Saskatchewan, which my dad prompty deposited for me. Halelujia!
So abiding in God is not much more than an attitude; it's knowing not only where you stand, but who stands for you. It's learning all the disciplines that keep you sane, like refusing to worry or give in to stress, seeking God and listening for Him to direct you, giving Him the perfect times of your day, and the times when it's not, and generally living in the peace that He provides, no matter what's going on around you.
God is a lifestyle, not just an option.
And now I'm excited to learn the other side of poverty...charity.
posted by Erika @ 10:39 PM
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