The Cowboy, The Hooker, The Homeless Guy and The Best Man

I have never been thankful that there are some people in this world who are gifted at breaking into cars. Until yesterday that is.
I locked my keys in my car outside of my friend's house in downtown Calgary last night. And oh what an adventure ensued.

We started off trying to jimmy the door with a metal coat hanger. It was definitely not going through that seal. Then I noticed that the back window was a squinchy bit rolled down (God's grace, no?) We tried the wire through there... but it was too long and uncontrollable, no matter how much I said you just gotta control the uncontrollableness.
A rough-looking guy ambles by and offers to try breaking in for us. He was kinda sketchy and we politely declined. A hooker or two walks by. Some people going home from the Stampede walk by. Funny how nobody questioned why we were breaking into a car or if it was even ours. That pretty much sums up the neighborhood... something appearing to be burglary isn't even questioned. I was surprised no cops rolled by and arrested us.

Back to the story. Homeless Man #1 goes away. So do Hooker #1 and #2.

Enter Cowboys #1 and #2. They were on their way home after a long day of Stampeding. Cowboy #1 offers to try his hand at it as his friend, Cowboy #2, sits on the grass to watch. Around the same time Homeless Guy #2 meanders into the scene. He said he would get in if we gave him ten bucks. At this point (about 45 minutes since we first started attempting to break into my car) we were ready to try anything. So we say, 'give it a whirl'. He was quite the character. I believe the words out of his mouth were: "I live on the streets, I do this all the time". He went straight for the front lock, jamming some suspiciously sharp metal object in between the rubber and the window when we weren't looking. Then he noticed the slightly lowered back window.
By this time Cowboy #1 is on the other side of the car with a different hanger; he challenged Homeless Guy #2 to a race. Homeless Guy #2 asked to see his hanger, claiming it was a different make than the one he was holding. Cowboy #1 says, "wow, you know your makes of hangers. There's no way I can win". And he left, leaving me and my friend with the homeless guy.

Homeless Guy declares "I need a stick". I thought he meant like a little twig or something. Nope. He struts over to the nearest tree (around where Homeless Guy #1 disappeared to) and just rips off an entire branch, proceeding to strip it of all its shorter branches and leaves. Apparently I don't know my 'sticks'. Then he tried shoving it in the small crack above my back window. I was getting nervous by now, wondering if I was going to have to pay more for getting my car back into functional order when he was done than the actual tow-truck would have cost. So I asked Homeless Guy if there is normally permanent damage to the car when he does this. He just kinda shrugged and kept lodging the stick in the window crack.

I gotta trust my homeless people better. This guy actually knew what he was doing. Apparently you can break into a car with a stick and zero damage.

It was such a happy day when the light from the inside of my car (meaning door ajar) streamed into that ever-darkening street. We gave him his ten bucks, and after giving me a lecture on how I can prevent this in the future he went on his merry way, and I was finally able to go on mine.

Apparently some people offer this world more than just good looks and money. Though that homeless guy had neither, I am thankful that he did have street skills.

And that is my story of the cowboy, the hooker, the homeless guy and the best man.